“Don’t Worry, Be Happy” – Just Shut Up Kevin!

I told someone I was depressed and they hit me with,
“Have you tried being happy?”
Oh wow. Thank you, doctor. How innovative. I’ll just uninstall sadness real quick because I didn’t know there was a switch.

People will literally hand you a quote from Pinterest while you’re spiraling. “Everything happens for a reason.” Okay then, Kevin, what’s the reason I cried while brushing my teeth this morning? PLEASE enlighten me.

Also, can we talk about this whole “good vibes only” nonsense? No. I’m bringing my terrible vibes to the table. I’m the human version of a missed call and cold coffee. I have exactly ZERO vibes left to give.

Toxic positivity is like spraying perfume on garbage. Sure, it smells like lavender now, but it’s still rotting from the inside.

Sometimes you don’t want to “glow up.” Sometimes you just want to lie on the floor dramatically and eat chips and cry about your childhood, and that’s valid, amigos.

So no, Kevin, I will NOT be manifesting joy today. I will be manifesting silence, maybe sleep, possibly a mildly affectionate ghost.

Stay unhealed. Stay real. Storiyan toh abhi baaki hai, amigos.